Therapy for People-Pleasing & Perfectionism

A woman with long dark hair, glasses, and hoop earrings smiling while holding a small orange cup, wearing a burgundy top and green cardigan, standing against a plain white background.

Struggling to say no without guilt? Always trying to do things “right”? You’re not alone.

I work with women who’ve spent years trying to earn love through performance, self-sacrifice, or perfection. Therapy can help you understand where these patterns come from — and finally start unlearning them.

What It Feels Like

This might sound familiar:

  • You say yes even when you want to say no

  • You constantly overthink what others think of you

  • You feel like you can never do “enough” — even when you're doing the most

  • You apologize for things that aren’t your fault

  • You feel resentful, drained, or invisible in your relationships

These patterns usually start early — in families, classrooms, or faith communities that rewarded being easy, quiet, or “good.” Therapy is where you can stop performing and start feeling like you.

How I Help

What therapy looks like for people-pleasing + perfectionism:

  • We slow things down so you can actually feel your feelings, not just intellectualize them

  • We get curious about where your “good girl” patterns started — and who they were keeping you safe from

  • We build emotional safety so you can set boundaries without shame

  • We reconnect with the messy, real parts of you that never got to take up space

You don’t need to be “better” to be worthy. You just need a space to be real — and someone to walk with you through it.

Want to hear more? In the video below, I share how I support women who are tired of overperforming and ready to finally feel like themselves.

Why Work With Me

A woman with glasses, a septum nose ring, and dark hair sits on a tan leather chair, smiling at the camera. She wears a burgundy top and a green cardigan, with a plant and window in the background.

This isn’t worksheet therapy.

I use a psychodynamic, relational approach grounded in AEDP (Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy). That means we don’t just talk about your feelings — we slow down and actually feel them together, in real time.

I pay close attention to how you show up emotionally, relationally, and even in the therapy room itself. We work with the parts of you that have learned to shut down, smile through the pain, or over-function to stay safe. If you’ve had therapy before that felt too polite, too vague, or too shallow… you’re in the right place.

 FAQs

  • Yes. Therapy can help you understand why you struggle to say no, feel guilty setting boundaries, or put others’ needs ahead of your own. I work with women to unlearn these patterns and build emotional safety around being honest, direct, and self-honoring.

  • Perfectionism isn’t a diagnosis, but it often shows up alongside anxiety, shame, or burnout. Therapy helps you explore where that pressure comes from — whether it started in childhood, school, religion, or relationships — and how to let go of the belief that your worth depends on performance.

  • We go beyond “just set boundaries.” I help clients explore the emotional roots of people-pleasing, build self-trust, and practice saying no without guilt. This work is relational, deep, and focused on lasting change — not just surface-level tools.

  • Not always — but many perfectionists do carry relational trauma, emotional neglect, or experiences where love felt conditional. If you're always trying to get it “right,” we’ll explore what that part of you is protecting — and offer it something new.

FREE CONSULATIONS

Not sure what’s right for you?

I offer free 15 minute video consultations to answer any questions and ensure you feel confident beginning therapy with me.

 “I talk to myself and look at the dark trees, blessedly neutral. So much easier than facing people, than having to look happy, invulnerable, clever.”

— Sylvia Plath